Morality of consequences

 As my soul continues to dwindle in light and drench itself in clouded darkness. I come here once again to satisfy my screaming soul. Morality, in which we all know. What is the right and wrong decision? As these decisions are made within ourselves, we delve into the abyss of the unknown, being bewitched by multiple sins, greed, lust, and wrath. At the end of it all, we always wish to be forgiven, for the wrongs I have done. Multiple sins have caused me to stir from the path of my natural light. Now I drench myself in pain and endless misery begging myself to learn how to forgive....none other than the sinner. As these days go on, I dwell on these late-night thoughts that push my fear beyond my thoughts. I've crossed the line, I thought I never had to make. As one had my humanity the other took my heart, the moral choice was to always lean towards my humanity no matter what my heart told me. Living true to my ideologies, WE endure all the pain given through the path. I am willing to accept hatred as it is the result of decisions made by none other than my truth but WE can't accept the decision made by my heart. So it continues to ache, defying these god-given rights, I blame myself for all this and one day I wish to be forgiven by none other than my heart and humanity. So I tread lightly but dangerously in this clouded foggy hazy days. TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER OR BE HAUNTED FOR ALL ETERNITY. Right or Wrong, really? I am neither good or evil. 

Waves of Life

In the long run, we were all supposed to become part of life. Growing our own individual separate ways. Regardless of how far we run and don't accept the life given to us, it always drags us back to be part of society. We can never run away from it, either your part of it forever or death arises. We grow at our own pace, and at a specific age, we begin to develop our brain. We may be late bloomers or early bloomers regardless only someone is special. Furthermore, even the likes of me, the Sad Lamb became part of society. He had to accept his position or accept the fear given outright. The fear of shelter, comfort, love, and hobbies. All were thrown out the way by fear. The question is, who do you want to be? My long-forgotten love, I can never forget about you. Every day as I blossom, my leaves and soul crushes my every being. But there is one thing that it can never crush. It's the fear that dwells deeps inside, the fear of losing the memories of you. Though I may have never been able to talk to you through the lens of love, I was able to make memories that made me sane for the rest of my life. Thus, I thank you. While I also bid you farewell, the girl I loved the most as I continue to get swept by the waves of society.

FEAR

Have one ever ask themselves what keeps them alive? Once you lost the most important thing that keeps u striving, why do you still live. The real question is the reason you are living is because of fear or is it because you have hope. Regardless hope itself is fear, and a fact that won't come true. No matter how many times you wish and "hope" its all useless. Everything has only been in the dark and will forever stay in wonderland. All is pointless when faced with reality. 

Do You Live in the present or the future?

Do you live in the present or future, what a beautiful line it is, there are no such words to put it, the future filled with dreams that will never come true, and the present filled with sins and betrayal. What world do you live in? I live in the world of hate, hate and agony, praying one day that the darkness consumes me more than anything , i pray that it consumes all of me and change my personality, I dont want it anymore, i dont want anything, afterall i finally see it the light that never existed to begin with, im a fool nothing less and nothing else, i see no colors as i were today nor tomorrow all i can see is the pain i was left with, the pain of the stars....where did my star go where did it fly off to in this galaxy, all that i know is that it left me all alone, to face the hardship of reality. THIS IS NOT FAIR, CRUMBLING MY WORLD BECKONS, the wind that guided the trees stopped the hope of humans faded. Soon I will join them in this cruel fateful world, slowly and for surely, I can see it all, see that my me died, the me, is becoming more uglier by day. I see the fear.....of him..the fear that cries deep inside me hoping one day something will happen, I dont want to change, so i want to be saved, without actions no one can save. This ending never-land which i should have never been born...till day meets night, i shall shroud in this broken down cloud, and maybe one day once more and more....i can fulfill my life with a replacement.

Trust Is But A Misery That Lies In A Human

I write because of my will, and inability to be truly complete, I write because my life is a lie. I know that this world isn't as great as it can be, so I cry that I have been betrayed. I learn to hate others, and I begin to mistrust the lie that sleeps in my heart, a lie so deep unable to be seen by the living. The day I cry is the day I die. WHY, WHY, opening your heart just one bit.....and you begin to achieve pain and hatred, that shroud your heart in sorrow. I trusted someone before, and he took my treasure, my soul, my idol, my life that I have yet to obtain, so you ask why I hate? I HATE BECAUSE I HATE, I HATE BECAUSE LIFE HAS YET TO ACCEPT ME, I HATE BECAUSE I'm BORN WEAK, I HATE BECAUSE, I can't trust anyone anymore, and I hate him so much more than anyone else. I trusted and so I did and so I lost my will because of my trust, open your heart and begin to hate, hate enough to kill, hate enough to strive, hate enough to fight, hate enough to cry, hate enough to soar, and finally hate enough to......................lose it all. So I tell again a story of my heart that lie asleep in this endless world, why was I born to meet him, I hate him with all my heart and so why do I write, I write because my life is unable to change , I write because this LIFE HAS YET TO BECOME REALITY, I LACK THE POWER TO PERCEIVE, I lack so much and yet so little. What do we strive for? What do we move for? All we do is work and work till we all become bones of dust, shall all come to an end when we die. A death like a blossom of a flower, I haven't blossom yet....maybe death is the key to success. Can I really live like this forever, can I lie to myself forever? Losing my will to live, my whole life just became a lie from this day on, I shall shroud my heart in sorrow, and that soul which I had will be thrown away. This is an uncalled for world, sorrowful moon songs lie in my wake. Death seems so appealing when all is lost? Why is that, why is death so appealing in sadness, is death shrouded in sadness. I don't know where this path will lead me, but I continue to walk to empty road of hatred , for what I have been toss around too much. I cry everyday in the trees next to the star, the lakeside river, have yet to rise, can I relive my life of pain and sorrow. Why must this world turn against me , raised as a hateful child , I begin to realize this is the final stage of humanity. Everyday I begin to break down......but I had that one light, but it was taken, so I REALLY HATE EVERYONE, that light was long gone, I never had one to begin with. The final phase is about to arise and that is the time when my death can blossom through this beautiful moonlight night in the evening tide.

A Time You Yet Seek

In a time far away, I once learned that one must not be said, the one that is you, the you that u keep hidden and locked in your sadden heart.The you which has been running far away and became lonely with no hope. A lonely path you have ahead with no support, all you can do is dream and gaze in the night to see and realize you have nothing to live for nothing at all.In your heart you ask yourself" why must things be this way,WHY WHY must I be in this despise world, why do I have to feel alone with guilt. The answer you seek if you can feel these feelings are pain nothing ahead the path you walk a lonely road where u will die alone with no one and feel depress for all eternity with no encouragement like a island alone with no bridge of support from other states or country. So the only way to truly run away from this path is to suffer by being alone and accept the feeling that u are alone in this world with no one there to be with u, accept that being alone is the best way not to get attention and not to hurt others around you. BEING ALONE WILL MAKE U STRONG but yet a weak death indeed.

Forgetting the past

A lonely night forgetting time and space nothing left to remember walking a road with no end, why must i forget, why did i forget. What have i forgotten. I have lost what I have forgotten. Can you tell me what I have forgotten in this world? Did I lose my love?Did i lose my hope? Did I lose everything that was precious to me? What do I need to remember? What do I remember. All I hear is"help,forget,help,forget,help" as i walk alone.....scared....scared.....to see what lies ahead of this world....when will I see,when will i see the lost soul I have forgotten a lost soul of the past which i want to regain.....regain from nothing less than a world for war and death so I cry.......cry to see nothing left of this world but dead animals...........all we do in this world is just die for nothing for no purpose, why can we not band together and truly show our creation of humanity.